A year and a bit on raw
If you ask me where I am now in my raw journey, I would say I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place.
Yes, you read that right. I was so enamoured by all things raw, but recently, this way of eating has seem to have brought more stress than joy.
Don’t get me wrong, I still love fresh fruit, veggies, and nuts but the social aspect of this diet is wearing me down more than I wish to admit.
So, I’ll be frank about it because I think there is way too much hype about how eating raw solves everyone’s problems and helps them lose weight and you don’t have to mind your calories.
At the nine-month mark, I had lost 8kg (17.6lbs) and slightly more too. It was just the end of summer and I was striding confidently on this path.
But then winter came and I found it to be one of the hardest things to do. Up till that point, I was either 100% raw on some days or high raw (raw all day till a cooked vegetarian meal in the evening) on others. When winter rolled around, I even had cravings as early as in the morning for something piping hot.
It also didn’t help that I went off to Sri Lanka and Singapore for a five-week holiday, which meant a mostly cooked diet, especially in Sri Lanka.
Upon my return to Tokyo, I just craved all sorts of things I hardly ate in the last year — scrambled eggs, toast, fried noodles, rice dishes, cooked carbs and more cooked carbs. When it turned pretty icy (0 degrees), my diet was high raw on weekdays and maybe 30% raw on weekends.
Since then, I gained 3kgs (6.6lbs) and I feel a bit heavy in my middle section. I’ve a slim build but my tummy area is always the first to put on weight when I’m not careful.
And also, I’ve binged quite a bit on forbidden foods like potato chips, instant ramen, take-out pizza, and other cooked food. The thing is (and I read this so often in other raw blogs), I don’t feel good after a binge or a large cooked meal but I still do it again.
I’ve also got into some skirmishes with my fiancé with this diet. He’s an adventurous guy but he’s still a guy’s guy who loves his meat and beer and cannot seem to fathom the logic behind my raw vegan inclinations. Even when I throw facts at him, he would say, “You can find any research study you want to back up anything you want.”
I love him to death and I hate seeing this issue as something to cause a rift between us. I cook meat for him and he eats my raw creations so on a daily basis there is no problem in that sense. But I think these strong beliefs that we both have are cleaving a distance between us that was never there.
Besides that, I am sick of reading about how 100% organic is the ideal and living in a clean environment is essential for optimal health. But frankly, my inability to achieve these lofty goals are making me feel more like a failure than a success. “Maybe I’m not giving it my all and that’s why I don’t feel that great anymore?” is what I ask myself, but the cost of being 100% is just too much for me to bear.
For one, organic food is just exorbitant in Tokyo and the variety is so limited that it would be impossible not to get sick of the same produce day in day out. One might argue that I should spend less on other things and more on nutrition but I suppose I’m not that fanatical about my health.
I just want to be happy and healthy.
I’m not blaming raw food for making life hard but I think it’s not as straightforward as some people tout it to be. Yes, it looks simple: “eat raw, feel good”, but the cleansing journey is not a straight line, as I have found it to be.
For example, I cannot eat as many nuts as before because they cause indigestion, but while lighter foods do aid digestion, I feel that hollow feeling in my stomach like I’m not satiated by just eating fruit, veggies, and avocado. And this echoes what raw foodists who are into raw milk and eggs — they were never fully satisfied until they introduced raw organic dairy into their diet.
I added in more avocado and flax, plus eating more cooked quinoa and root vegetables which helped but I fell ill a few times during this period, that then messed up my exercise routine, and hence my “natural” inner rhythm felt terribly disrupted.
The physical aspect aside, what bothers me the most is how difficult it is to “divorce” myself from foods that have been in my life since childhood. When things get rough, I tend to reach for those foods but they seem to cause more emotional distress than “comfort” me obviously. I’ve read some books on emotional eating and it all boils down to personal choice as the common thread or solution.
Do I want to have this bag of chips? Would it make me feel good after? My reply should be a resounding no but I still eat it despite having full knowledge that I am in control of my own destiny and there are no answers in a bag of chips. I tried to let go of having such a tight grip on my health but my old problems are coming back — weight gain, heart burn, and lackluster energy.
Maybe I’m going through a funk and need to kick things into high gear since the weather is getting warmer. Hurray to that!
On a more positive note, I’m still thriving on green juices and smoothies. My dishes have become simpler and I don’t make mock raw food anymore. I call a spade, a spade and enjoy it for what it is. I’ve also tried cooked vegan recipes that use lentils and quinoa that sit quite well with my digestion and taste buds.
I’m definitely at a crossroads where I cannot turn back (you cannot unlearn what you learned) but I’m not moving forward.
Advice, anyone?
Aww don’t feel bad about raw food. It is not the food there is something wrong with, I think it is how we approach it. I tried raw once – for a week, and I felt pretty ill. I told my high raw (going on for years) friend about it, and she said “we’ll i think it is just importaint to try to eat as much raw as you feel you can”. And so I did. First I made sure my breakfast shakes were all raw. Then i tried to take more raw snacks to work, then I discovered your blog and learned more about doing raw bentos (thank you so much!). And now I have been doing a high raw diet since christmas and is experiencing my first detox (trust me it is not nice). I did not set out any goals to be 100 vegan ( I was a vegetarian from the beginning), nor to only eat healthy foods. I just added more raw food. All along the way I have allowed myself to let into my cravings, and so I do not have much of them. I have eaten alot of cooked food especially beans and lentils, which I love, and also feel like I need (I am a protein girl). I try however to avoid soy products and gluten, but these too I have eaten, especially when it comes to being social. I do not want to put people off with my new found love for raw food.
What I don’t do is – buy alot of organic food. The reason is that food in Norway, where I live, is as expensive as in Tokyo, and organic food is as scarce. It wont maybe be as healthy, but it is still way more healthy than processed food.
I think what I am trying to say with all of this is – don’t be so strict with yourself. Food should be about enjoyment period. I love food and I love to eat. Nothing is going to take that away from me. Stick with the stuff you like about raw food, and then eat the stuff you miss. Love yourself
When it comes to the boyfriend – don’t waste your energy trying to convince someone who has made up their minds. it is not worth it. If he makes a fuzz about it just tell him how the raw food makes you feel. He can’t argue that. You have written earlier that it makes you sleep better and that your eczema has gone away. Though it also sounds to me that he is pretty supportive and open for a carnivore, even eating the food you make.
I also gain weight in the tummy area and I do Tracy Andersons post pregnancy workout for it (it sounds lame, but it really works. Sometimes I think she is out to kill me, but trust me it really really works), and also Kundalini yoga – more spesifically Ravi Singh and Ana Bretts “Navel power” (you can find it on amazon). But that is for those who are into yoga I think, and not for everyone.
Ok in the end i have one blog, and one blog post I really like.
First is choosingraw.com – i like her outlook on raw food and veganism, and I esp. like her respect for other people and how they choose to live. She does not preach or judge, she is all about do what you feel you can.
Also I love, love, love this blogpost by Sarma about not putting labels on things:
http://oneluckyduck.com/sarma/?p=260
Whatever you choose to do with your diet and your life – good luck!
Hi Mariannes,
Thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. I’ve wanted to try Tracy Anderson’s work outs for a while too!
I guess I’m not feeling the same level of energy when I first went raw and am wondering if I’m not being raw enough but your words make alot of sense. Perhaps I went too fast into it and now I feel disappointment more as I’m being a bit hard on myself.
Thanks for the support and the links. It is very nice to know someone who faces the same issues (expensive city, lack of organic food, tendency to gain around the tummy and love of raw food!) and I really do feel better.
Hi Yu Ming,
Remember me? I wrote to you sometime back asking for advice on raw food. I’m the Singapore girl who lives in Yokohama.
Well I’ve started on the raw journey and like you, I was really inspired and hyped up about this whole raw philosophy at the beginning. I still believe in this but I soon found that maintaining a high raw lifestyle is very very tough, and impractical at times. I have a toddler and although he is happy eating salads as part of his meals (which I am very happy about), I cannot expect him to eat raw meals like us all the time. So cooking seperate meals for the family has proven to be really tiring for me.
And although raw food can be very creative, I soon realise that the tastes all end up to be very similar. I still can’t get used to the taste of nuts and seeds (even when they are blended). I tried making some desserts but they all taste very similar since most raw desserts are made with nuts and seeds.. So the truth is, I became a disappointed with the raw meals that I made when they don’t turn out to be as gourmet as I had expected. And like you, I find buying good vegetables and fruit very expensive in Japan and I wonder if it is really necessary for me to maintain a high raw lifestyle.
After starting on a raw food diet, I also became quite moody and had very extreme mood swings. I couldn’t understand why but I developed cravings for sugar and junk food – things that I didn’t even enjoy before I went raw.
Recently, I have decided that much as I would like to live a raw life, I just don’t think it is for me at this stage of my life. At the end of the day, all I want is to have a happy and healthy life. I would still incorportate raw food in my daily life but it has to suit my time and tastebuds. I do feel guilty sometimes when I eat a not so healthy un-raw meal but I am not happy forgoing my comfort foods. I am so happy to read this post of yours as I too, have been thinking alot about this raw lifestyle. I can feel you, and I wish you all the best in whatever you do.
Cindy
Oh, and on the social side, I find it difficult to explain my choice of a raw diet to my friends. I respect that many people do not believe in it but somehow these people seem to feel the need to convince me that raw diet is just BS. Now I don’t even bother telling people that I’m into raw food so that they don’t get a chance to try preaching to me!
Hi Cindy, thank you for taking the time to write your comments. I can definitely see where you are coming from. I think the cravings are withdrawal from cutting down on refined sugar and carbs if you went full force into a raw diet. I had sort of the same experience in the beginning but I think after the first two weeks, I started to feel better as the detox wore off. And I felt even more energized when I introduced green drinks and there was certainly no turning back after feeling that good.
BUT, I have read that it is common for those who go raw to experience dramatic positive changes in their health but find that a while later, the raw lifestyle does not feel as great as before and all the social problems start rearing their ugly head.
I have met with some really negative reactions when I told others about my diet so I kind of stick to “I’m a vegetarian” but even that will raise some eyebrows. It is a terrible shame that some people think that being healthy are dirty words.
On a final note, I think it’s just best to go at your own pace and find a happy medium for yourself.
hi i’m curious whether you found the raw diet made any difference to your headaches/migraines? i did what you suggested in a previous comment, by going high raw, and cutting processed sugar and carbs, i found my weight going down, but emotional eating still continues to be a huge part of my struggle. despite the bad physical reactions to binging, i still do it. i’m having huge problems with migraine now, i recall you commented it’s a sign of sth wrong, and i agree. i wonder if a strict and full raw diet (without stimulants like coffee and tea etc) will truly alleviate or eliminate the migraines as is often touted by the raw-avocates. would love to hear your personal experience.
Hi aichaku, I don’t have consistent headaches or migraines but I did have other chronic health problems like dramatic weight gain, eczema, insomnia, heart burn and heart palpitations from too much caffeine.
I think my overall health did improve when I went high raw eg my eczema went away and lost excess weight and slept much better. But I think more importantly, I cut caffeine and refined sugars/carbs from my diet. I still eat some refined carbs when I’m out and do feel lethargic and heavy when I have such foods over the weekend.
Well you might want to check out this raw blog called Kirsten’s Raw because she eliminated her migraines with a high raw diet. She has mentioned this a few times.
One comment about migranes – I have them too, and they did not get better with a close-to-vegan or raw-food diet. What I did discover though was that I was seriously lacking in Magnesium, and lo and behold, they have just started researching the connection between migranes and Magnesium (one example site i found useful is this: http://www.relieve-migraine-headache.com/magnesium-migraines.html it both describes which foods to eat, and which type of supplements that is best to use). When I started taking Magnesium supplements I also started sleeping better.
hi yuming and mariannes, thanks for the tips & links. i’m going to look them up and try them out.
Hi
I have been following your blog for a while as i am also in Tokyo. I have always been a high raw veggie but over the last year have tried to do more but somilar to many of your and others comments I have become a bit fed up , bored with te same,wanting more cooked warm foods, trouble when socialising, etc.But strangly havent wanted to revert back to porridge instead of green smoothies
Also I dont feel its made a differnce to my energy levels either – I ate almost a whole tray of raw brownie the other night and still fell asleep early and easily – I was hoping for a few hours of energy!
So dont think you are alone on this – As far I am concerned its best to do as high raw as you can – keep up the green smoothies at least and other food whatever your body feels like it needs and keep off the packaged ,processed stuff as much as possible but an odd pack of crisps ahouldnt hurt if thats wht you feel you need-
Good luck to you
Hi wct, thanks for your well wishes and for coming over to say a few words.
As for raw food and energy levels, I think it has made quite a difference to mine but after a year on raw, I think I’m used to a certain level of clarity. It still feels better than when I was on a 100% cooked diet but I’ve to say that it’s the realization that I bought into the whole “I feel like I can do anything!” ethos quite naively. Raw food is energy giving but it’s not limitless, from my experience.
I still feel tired, still get sick sometimes and I have days I can’t focus well on work. Raw food is not perfect. The same principles of eating sort of still applies, I found — if I overeat, albeit on raw food, I still feel sleepy. I may not slip into a food coma but I would still feel drowsy, esp after eating a nut heavy meal, or even worse, get heart burn.
Hi!
I just wanted to say this…Going raw by no stretch of the imagination is easy. Preparation is difficult to stay on top of when it comes to raw food. As well as staying creative with our meals. When creativity is lost – we tend to reach for those things the mind remembers as comforting. I don’t think you should worry. Besides it’s the overall desire for great health that matters. That is why you chose raw. To be healthy, to be comfortable. Most of all just be happy with your life. Be happy that you are the few that is enlightened to try RAW food and all that comes with it. Eczema, Migraines and various health issues are definitly things any of us can reverse with a healthier lifestyle.
Be happy that you are trying. That you are alive. And most of all remember to love everyday. It is the only true thing in life. Sometimes our journey in life may not be what we imagined, or the “chapters” change in our lives than what we thought they would be. It’s okay.
Live in Light and Love!
Namaste!
Melinda
Hi Melinda,
It definitely is good advice to be grateful when things get rough and I do take that to heart. I’m lucky to come across this information to help relieve my chronic conditions and I should never forget that.
I’m easing up the pressure and am just doing what fits with me now. I’m still into raw but I decided that this is a never-ending journey and should see it as such, and not something with an an end point or is some achievement oriented goal.
I forgot to add this link to the comment above.
http://www.merawyoucooked.com/
I am happy to hear you are easing up on the pressure. Your are smart and wonderful! And yes life is neverending!
Namaste!
Melinda
Hi Melinda, Thanks for the link. I actually bought that e-book already and will be posting my thoughts on that soon.
Hello there
Have to admit I think more or less like everyone else : trying to incorporate as much raw as I can but trying to still be sociable with the food I eat & still enjoying some cooked food once in a while too.
Have the exact same thing with crisps : once I start eating from a bag of crisps, I find it hard to stop… until there’s nothing left
So I make raw crisps, they’re healthier and just as tasty (still experimenting to find the perfect recipe, hehe
) & I substitute them with crunchy veggies & dipping sauce (you can make your home-made mayo, add a dash of whiskey & tomato puree and you get “cocktail” sauce the way we call it in Belgium – tastes lovely with veggies !)
It’s not easy trying to stay away from comfort foods. I’m now working on a rule, to keep things much simpler : allowing myself 2 “extras” a week, as in 2 “comfort” foods, still as natural as possible, but else if I did more, I’d spoil all my hard efforts
For the migraines, check perhaps if you haven’t got a hormone unbalance (are you on birth control ??). Or perhaps look for other meanings, I know I had headaches in the past which were linked to issues I needed to solve…
(the body can create mechanisms to try to make you aware of things you are currently ignoring)
Wishing you the best of luck,
Lots of love
Angie
Hi Angie,
Thanks for your tips. I think allowing yourself two “extras” a week is a good idea. Being too strict leads me to binge on all sorts of unhealthy food, but if I have just a bit, I’ll probably consume less of such food overall.
I admire your efforts to rawrify some of your comfort foods.
One thing that keeps me in the raw zone is to try new recipes — at least one a week to keep things fresh on my plate.